2.04: Most Of You Are Probably Already Zombie Food

thanks to all for what I believe is a record-setting number of responses.

Tim, you’re probably thinking too dramatically with the .50-cal mounted SUVs, but I like where your heads at. (Actually, cars are pretty much death traps when it comes to fighting zombies - you run over a couple and your suspension gets all jacked up, and then you're basically just canned food).

Tim, you’re actually by far the most likely of us to survive – Alaska will be one of the least affected places, based on the low population density and low temperatures (zombies don’t function well in the cold). Andrew, your place in Canada would be perfect as well – relatively self sustaining and up in the cold where Zack can’t follow. When the invasion comes, if I don't already have a boat and island lined up, I'll be making tracks for your place.

I like the island plan – zombies can move through the water, but we’d never really be based with vast herds of them like you can be subject to in a mainland-based fortress. The problem with the island is that you’d need to keep its existence quiet – there will be literally millions of people trying to survive in boats and such, and they’ll all be eyeing an island fortress with envy. One desperate boatload of people is more dangerous than a thousand zombies. I’d say the best plan would be to have a large speaker system that can project a zombie’s moan if boats get too close to the island, or even an isolated part of the island with a couple of zombies fenced in – an island fortress that’s already been overrun with zombies won’t be so tempting. Getting to the island is the tough part....

That said, I have my own slant on surviving a zombie invasion. Since we’re starting out right at the beginning of the Great Panic, most people still don’t know what’s going on or what to do. My rule of thumb is simple: whatever most people are doing, do the opposite. That is, if people are panicking and hitting the road in droves, I sit tight. They’ll all be clogging the roads, packed in like a buffet line for the zombie hoard. Meanwhile, I’ll be making daily (Day is better than night – zombies don’t rely on vision as much as humans do) forays out into the cities to collect the supplies that all the panic stricken people left behind. I can find a suitable high rise (suitable: a way of permanently rendering the stairs useless. I’ll be using the retractable fire escape) and make like I’m the last man in the world.

On the other hand, if everyone is just staying put waiting for instructions, I hit the nearest survival store and then hit the road, preferably with (as Nate pointed out) a small caliber rifle, a shovel (perfect for digging holes and bashing skulls) and a bike (it can outrun any zombie, gives you nearly unlimited maneuverability and doesn’t need gas. Plus, no one is going to try and murder you for it).Then I’ll be heading for wherever you guys are so we can make our escape to a suitably awesome fortress and/or island.

Of course, as a military guy, I’m probably stuck doing whatever they tell me to do. Then again, there are much worse places to be than an armor plated cruiser when the invasion comes.